June 02, 2006


The weather is absolutely wonderful here. I can see the spots of rain marking the open area on the floor below ours and the sky is deliciously overcast in a very Brit manner. Actually, it is about fucking time too. I am sick of my allergic reactions every time it becomes too hot or too cold or when the seasons change like twice in a year and it has been godawfully hot and humid here of late.

In another month, on the 4th of July, I would have completed a year in this new job. Of late, I have taken a significantly lesser role in day-to-day operations and other than a couple of instances where the escalation had gone over-critical, I have not stepped in even during times of significant issues and things have not fallen apart. And that is pretty much a good indicator that the core framework is in place and stable enough to run on its own.

There are quantity and quality issues that still need to be sorted out, but it is gradually falling into place. There are a couple more of minor projects that need to be pushed out, but nothing really major and I can feel the need for a new challenge slowly creeping up inside me. After reading this article on MySQL AB in Fortune Magazine, I've been wondering what are actually my options, in terms of what is already available and what I'll have to work towards.

Half of the fun (and the hardest part to crack) in starting something new is finding the right people to get the stuff done. We've largely managed that here, but it is also brings the dilemma of having to let go of the baby you've so carefully brought up. Initially, the most difficult thing for me here was to come to terms with the concept of getting things done by others than to kill yourself in trying to do it all on your own. Hell, I even used to feel guilty about it most times.

After six years in Delhi, I think it is about time I moved somewhere else. The pragmatist in me has taken time off from things like marriage and family till the time I am thirty, by when I hope I'd be saner/stabler in my mind to do all that. So, it is one of those things -- to travel to a foreign land, challenge your own worst fears once again, meet new people and most importantly get away from this godawful dust that I am really sick of -- that's taunting me again.

As it always is, the specifics of the plan of action are missing in my case. I think I'd rather deal with it once I am done with facing up to another major fear of mine -- of going home. I have not been there now in more than three years and before July ends I should be making a splash-and-dash there. Quite a lot of uncomfortable facts await me there -- family, marriage, property, relatives -- but I think it is a smarter idea to hit it first before it hits you later when want it the least.

I think, on the whole, I've been much happier. At least I don't reek of negativism anymore (or so I hope), but I want more from life. More interesting people, more interesting things to do and more interesting places I want to visit and live in. It would be wonderful to go clubbing in Europe, read the morning paper with a nice hot cuppa in a cafe in Paris, once the south of France has been thoroughly explored and many other such geographical fantasies.

Honestly, the problem I have with getting married and all is that most options I've seen, or how most people would want to have it, would bring for the opposite of all that. Funnily, the ideal life partner would actually be a travelling companion with whom I could probably get married to somewhere along the way. Family, relations and all the cultural mumbo jumbo hold no value or relevance for me and I am particularly selfish on that count.