February 02, 2006

Maxed Out

Yes, I am very much here, but time is a resource whose availability is very much scarcer than what is required or desired. In addition to my regular responsibilities that crisscross the lines of technology, journalism and borderline business development and alliancing, I have been admining the babies that keep the showpiece up and running. So it has been a week spent in the dark realms of PHP, Apache, Postgresql, Centos and plenty of MRTG graphs. If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I'd be fine tuning Apache for maximum performance and redoing web application architectures to make a living, I would have laughed my heart off. But it is not so funny when it actually happens, apparently.

On the other hand, there is a degree of lucidity and peace that has come visiting me after a very long time. It is not like I have acquired awesome degrees of purpose and meaning to my life overnight. It is just that I have decided to let go of a lot of things. If all these years of extreme and near-obsessive thinking has not brought those about, there is a fairly good chance that many more years of the same won't do much to achieve it. That being the case, I might as well enjoy the good things that I have in life and dump the things I can't fix and not kill myself in trying to fix them. So, really, I don't have much to crib about and I won't work hard to try and find something on those lines. Even with nothing, I can be happy. Really.