January 05, 2006

Saved Message

I don’t know who I hate more: Me or the rest of the world, I simply fucking hate everyone. Can I please not be myself, or whatever the world sees me as, and just let go of everything and hate once and for all myself and everything around me, forever and for eternity? It is not the alcohol; it is not any other substance. In the words that I speak now are the truths that I have always hidden.

I don’t feel cold. I don’t feel insensitive. I just feel a distinct lack of purpose. I feel like I am a prop, in someone else’s play. I don’t have a part to play for myself. I don’t have any explanations for myself. Not that you would be interested. Not that you would listen. Not that I have a point to prove. Not that your point has any significance within my context. After all, what am I? I am just a prop. I have always been. I will forever be.