January 17, 2006

Halt

It has indeed been a strange winter. The cold was not the sorts normally associated with Delhi and other than for a day or two there was no fog at all. And yes, I am knowingly writing about it in the past tense. Driving to work today, the sun was so bright and strong that I had to turn the fan on to get around it. Looks like the weather gods have gotten their calendar totally screwed up. We are going at least a month ahead of the scheduled change of seasons. Can I please have my normal winters back?

Have you ever had that feeling that your life is coming to a grinding halt? Initially the slowdowns and stoppages happen in fits and starts, later it stops more than the times it manages to keep moving. Things that mean a lot to you either dysfunction completely or keep malfunctioning with alarming regularity. Yes, life is a bitch, but there are times when you just can't keep up appearances and have the classic clown-like smile permanently plastered on your face. Do forgive me, but it is not like I feel low by choice.

I do need a break. In fact the last proper break I took was some three years back, if you can ignore the couple of extended weekend trips to here and there. The fact is further embellished by colleagues who tell you "when did you sleep last time, a year back? You look like you are going to collapse" first thing when you meet them in the day. But where do I go to? I don't want to go to my so-called home. I don't want to take a vacation with anyone I know. I'd really love to be able to go somewhere and not have to talk to anyone at all.

Fat chance, like they say.