December 31, 2005


What? It is New Year’s Eve? Who gives a damn anyway? It is just another day. The morning after, most of us drag ourselves to back to work and life goes on. What is so special about it other than hordes of drunk drivers on the road and half penny crappy joints charging you your soul and ten times over to steal an insignificant kiss with the significant other at the point where it strikes twelve? Oh, oh.

There should be more to life, should it be not? There should be more to it than having put an end to a very difficult relationship. There should be more to life than having excelled at losing a friend you should have kept with you with all your might, thanks to your own stupidity. There should be more to life than working your ass off because you are scared to see what is left of your own life. Should it be not?

But no, there is not much more to it. You just attribute farcical values to it. You just aim to be one of the so many. You just listen to what everyone says than to what you have to say to yourself. But is there anything that you have to say to yourself? No, there is not. Everything just draws a terrible blank. An unparalleled emptiness. A state of feeling nothing beyond compare. A gesture that is no gesture at all.

It should not be about unwritten farewell letters that you badly want to write. It should not be about lives you want to save that can’t be and don’t want to be saved. It should not be about behaving way beyond your age. It should not be about holding yourself back from speaking your mind again, for the umpteenth time. It should not be about causes that mean nothing to you; but it is all that said above and much more.

But as we speak, live and breathe, it will all repeat itself. It will recycle itself over. We’ll rediscover ourselves in the preset ways. We’ll bask in our own glory of having achieved what has already been achieved million times over. We will convince ourselves that there is nothing more to it. After all, we all are just so very ordinary. We have nothing better to aspire to other than another vague year with a new, unique number attached to it.

So here is wishing you all a happy 2006. Live it up, because the next year will practically be the same, albeit with a different number. Hey, at least we do know how to count. Isn’t that sexy, progressive and some awesome achievement?

Note: Post edited and cleaned up for clarity and language detoxification. Blogging under the influence is not the best of things to do.