August 01, 2005

Moorings

Even after some excellent company, amazing settings and crazy dancing that went on till five in the morning at the very exquisite Elevate, there is still a sickly haze that hangs over proceedings. I must admit, I am more than a bit winded, unmoored and scraping the bottom of an emotional barrel that won’t survive a lot more of it anymore.

Where I stand right now is not a lot of fun. I am constantly lingering between various states of being an emotional train wreck; I lack any kind of direction in life, I’ve turned alienating myself into a fine art and I am not too sure if I have the keys anymore that open the doors to my mind. Not that it would help a lot, but hey, you could always try.

I guess everyone wants to be rescued, to be granted their peace or purpose by someone else, in life. Or am I just being too presumptuous here? In any case, I don’t have that urge or feel that need anymore. It is not like I don’t really want it, but I am just tired and disgusted by seeing what I don’t want, over and over again. Makes any sense? I guess not.