April 27, 2005

Blogs are the next big duh!

Steve Rubel: Blogs are the new letters to the editor
Jason Calacanis: Blogs are the new email address
Richard Koman: Are Blogs the New Journalism
Next: Blogs are the next microwave and washing machine all rolled into one?

Meanwhile, David Galbraith puts another wildly spreading meme, AJAX, in its place.

April 26, 2005

Music For Roadwarriors

When you have a fairly moderate commute to and fro from work, one very important ingredient of that daily routine is the music you listen to. One of the good things about all the 'globalisation' is the amazing amount of obscure music that has now found its way into Indian record stores like the Ministry Of Sound compilations. While buying CDs can still be prohibitively expensive, audio cassettes still provide a very good means of providing on-road entertainment for those who do not want to spend obscene amounts of cash on making your car sound like a boom box on wheels.

Even though, by international standards, one can hardly call Ministry Of Sound obscure, it is still a great deal for people like me who like electronic music and the like to be able to listen to it while driving. The best part about the Ministry Of Sound compilations is that they are played in a continuous mix, ensuring that the tempo or the beat never drops off, leaving you to focus squarely on the pleasures (or evils?) of the road. The one that I had picked up was the double disc 'The Annual 2005.'

Incidentally, the version listed on the official Ministry Of Sound website does not have the song, Dallas Superstars's Fast Driving (JS16 Mix), mentioned in the track listing. The track is an absolute delight to drive to and that combined with the super smooth beat mixing of the album makes it one of my favourite tracks on the compilation. Other notable tracks on the compilation include the melodic 'Put 'Em High' by Stonebridge, Eric Prydz's 'Call On Me' and Mylo's 'Drop The Pressure.' If you like electronica or dance music, do go out and get this one.

April 25, 2005

Dividing Line

It can be so very tempting at times to just entirely forget the world around you, just give up, break down and walk further and cut even deeper into yourself. It is a forgone conclusion that I need some time off from life, work and almost everything else and figure out how it feels to do nothing or worry about anything at all. That, though, is quite a long way off. For now, I need to keep stumbling on. In a certain way, the point where things are right now is quite exhilarating. I am constantly treading the ever so fine line that divides the two hemispheres, one where you allow yourself to feel the raw, near-crazed high of every emotion, small or large, that comes your way and the other where you have to be in constant control of yourself, lest it should all slip away from you in the blink of an eyelid.

April 19, 2005

Indifferent

Where things can't get any better, they only end up getting even worse. After two years of putting up with my torture, my machine at home gave up on me about a month back. Normally, it would not take much more than a hard disk change or a motherboard change to get things going again, but I was stuck in those dreadful situations where it was a combination of things that had gone wrong. Now, after a considerable amount of money down the drain and an all but brand new machine, save the SMPS, CD drive, CPU and the case, it goes for a toss again. More money flows, bringing in a new CPU and RAM to replace the flaky module that was causing the machine stop errors. For the fear of anything else (there can't be anything left?) going wrong, I won't tempt fate and my temperamental machine and say it is all sort of stable now.

Of course, the fun does not quite end there. To pack more to the present's pugnacious punch, I have been been in the esteemed company of a bad case of chest infection, cold and mild fever since the middle of last week. Most of the time these days, I keep wondering what do I feel, if I do feel anything at all. I mean, there are almost two stories to my side these days. On one side, there is the lot of feelings and things that I am supposed to feel that I am not too sure if I feel at all. On the other side there are these feelings which I don't allow myself to feel. Lost somewhere in the midst of all of this is the real me. Sounds confusing? I can so understand it. I feel the same way too. Maybe it is just the medicines. You know, Benadryl rocks. Maybe it is just the delirium. Well, that rocks too, just for the record.

Over the weekend, I was asking myself about what I had become over the years. Had I become more cynical, enthusiastic, understanding, indifferent or anything else at all? For that matter, I even asked myself if I even had a plan that I was working towards, maybe even someone that I wanted to become? And not for the first time in the recent past, I had no answer for any of the question. I just felt way too tired, almost caving under the weight of my lone plan of action of 'doing-whatever-it-takes-to-get-stuff-done.' This is a far cry from maybe eight to ten years back. Now, I do not want to change anything or make any contribution. I am glad if the world just about lets me exist. I have become way too jaded and these days I have a loud, screaming "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging over my head. Don't knock, don't enter.

April 08, 2005

That Odometer Feeling

One of the things that I am trying my best to take care of while trying to figure out to where should I move now is passion, which is one thing that is sorely lacking where I am now. I have become so firmly rooted into this system now that I can't even remember what used to be like earlier. I don' think that I have ever felt passionate about anything that I have done here. Mind you, it is not a problem with the place, this is the way it works best, but it is not really the best way for me. By nature, I am not primarily a number-driven person; it is something of a byproduct for me derived from doing something right, than doing only the right things that get you the numbers.

Moreover, it is tiring to play catch up when you are always brimming with ideas that does not make sense to anyone. There is such a lot going on in the world of technology and there is almost nothing I am able to do about it. It is really tiring to see so many ideas, some of which you yourself have tried pushing around, taking off at other places, only for everyone to wake up a year down the line, when the world+dog has already gotten over it, to push it out, half baked, as the 'next big thing.' Regardless, I am trying my best to take it as a learning experience and move on to something where I can make better use of my time and energy. Trouble is, I am yet to figure it out.

One of the main reasons why I have not been updating this blog as frequently as I would have liked to is because of a decision I have made to move everything else other than personal posts out of here. With that objective in mind, I have started a new blog here, where it will be much more impersonal and it would cover more topics, leaving me free to ramble on here with my good old mumbling. Over time, I have come to realise that it is not a good idea to mix both personal and the other stuff. The people who come here for the personal stuff end up wondering, "what is wrong with this guy?" when they read stuff on technology and the people who come here for technology end up thinking, "God, there he goes again!"

These days, most of the times, I feel almost as if I am a ticking time bomb. I can't really conform to any order for more than a certain period of time and I have overrun that limit God knows how long back. But, due to reasons personal and professional, my hands are tied for the next couple of months and I wonder how long I can keep going like this. Even with the near-perfect time that I have had over the past 12 months, there is this aspect of dissatisfaction and the urge to do a lot of new things or redo what is already there. To express it in a very abstract way, I have not felt 'alive' in a while and I feel like an odometer at times, ticking over in the same way, over and over again, endlessly.