August 10, 2002

Winter catalogue

Good afternoon Ma'am, I am here to sell you a wonderful product. Would you please spare some time for it? I can assure you it is worth the effort. And it is the best selling product of late. Am sure you would also be tempted to buy one for yourself, only if you allow me the use of a few of your precious moments.

Okay, let us get down to business then. Could you please tell me the model you are using ma'am? Oh, that is too old ma'am, way too old, let me tell you the virtues of the latest state of the art model our firm is selling. It is not available in stores I can tell you reliably, in fact you are one of the very lucky chosen few.

See, this model comes with a warranty that you will never run out of things to run after, it never runs out on optimism and as far as we know there are no pessimistic bugs in the system, all our customers are happy, there has not been a single life that we sold that has been returned to us.

Yes, we do offer complete after sales service, free for the first three years and an additional bit of your soul for each annual routine service thereafter. Are we not a generous company ma'am?

Oh, you do not have the soul to pay for it ma'am? That is fine, we will extract a bit of it from somewhere in you, I am sure there is a tiny bit left in you somewhere, that will do fine for us, we can work on it and make it worth something.

Why am I not using one ma'am? Oh that is company policy, they do not let us use the products that we make. You see too much of optimism can ruin the sales our market research surveys have shown us.

Yes, ma'am a cheque will do just fine. We will extract bits of your soul over the years that you live till you die a totally happy and contended person. Hope you have a wonderful experience with Life™ from here on. Thank you.