December 21, 2001

appy budday

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge.......... hugs and thank yous to all da ppl who made this day soooooo special to me:

Daads, Shaj (no words for these two coz the know me best and words are a waste of time to try and express wot is between me n em, in fact wubbe kinda insulting too), Vij (booooootyful cards...... been a pleasure knowin ya :X) , Reshu (for stayin up till 12 and being the 1st one to greet me on the day, sunita (mah dearest darlingest onliest bongie), neena (quite an accent dat was. but u are the best ever ukno wot;) hehehhe )

thanx again

December 20, 2001


Sometimes loss can be the best of things that can happen to ya. After a long while I think I have decided for real to make a move. Not to wait for people, their lives, emotions etc.... These all are wot I have on offer.... take it or just walk away... you are important to me but I refuse to have my life depend on that.

Decided to let someone go..... Kinda feels so funny to have that happen again.. so familiar the whole process has become.... but i do not know.. i need more from ppl and their lives, its charitable etc being in the backgroud for ppl and to be good entertainment for them once in a while but i cannot he honestly expected to have my life depend on that.

People say i am changing.... mebbe i am. No i defenitely I am. I also need to survive. Maybe its permanent. Maybe you all will hate me after this. But its a fact and life does not deal in fantasies.... just fact and fact remains..


December 19, 2001


Nice soft music, almost alone at work..... living comfortably in my bubble, at peace, cancer stick on my lips, slightly levitated mentally that is, on schedule, can't see worries coz rearview mirror is smashed out (i did it), headlights out, bills pile up, so does paperwork, all needs on hold, want to make the moment last, cannot understand the need for dope when your mind can give you the best kick, smoke risees in so many imaginative vortexes, mind wants to follow them like a child chasing a butterfly, thoughts swirl around me, tea is brilliant, very sweet & strong with a spot of ginger, another sip, winter is lovely, sit alone with yourself and the thoughts my only loyal companion, satiated, food waits on table, ants want the first bite of it, other than that a few inanimate computers give me company alongside the unorganised organiser neglected cellphone on which no one calls, bottle 1/10 filled with water (rough estimate), wish i c'd get into their world as an inanimate object and give them all life, that will need searching, do not want to search..........

December 17, 2001


Broke a resolution yesterday.... It was not even for me...... It was for a pal... Why? I donno... I have no clue.. I knew I sh'd absolutely not have done it at all.. It just upset a carefully bulit up sanity and life system totally... so much so that I am feeling unbelievably horrible.... and wot was it all about? something that might not even happen. right now am in a huge mess..... cannot think straight.... i am screaming like hell frm the inside...... why am i like this? i live in a complicated manner... life sucks then and everyone has a problem widdat... i make my life simple..... sort out the little niggly things dat take up so much of my time... and people hate to believe that i do not have many issues then and its for real...... they go poking around telling me there is something wrong.....

December 13, 2001

Errr..... terror strikes India?

Pity they dinn kill even a single empee...

Read more


Suicide squad attacks parliament, 12 dead

December 11, 2001


Move move move move move. Need make life move. Resolutions to patience are like mucho wasted.... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGhhhhhhhhhh......


December 06, 2001


Man I love Tom C Greene at the Reg, read this and you will understand why:

Witness if you will Microsoft Outlook and Outlook Express, the two most efficient virus propagation utilities ever devised by human intellectual failure.

Read more of the story at the Reg here

December 03, 2001


Inaudible i cry again
ground under my feet
sinks, darkness consumes
me and everything else
Last glimpse of life
I see over my shoulder